The other day my life changed right before my heart. Not before my eyes, but before my heart, I could feel it and somehow knew that something inside of me was changed significantly. Yes, the world is constantly evolving and now I am being asked to be something I have never been before. The signs are clear now, but it has taken about two years for me to understand the symbols and messages. Great spirit has been sending me signs for a while now, all of them including eagle symbols and visions. But I have come to learn that one doesn’t have the ability to hear or see signs until the time is right and we have made our way through the thick weeds and tribulations of the lessons in life. I am now being gifted the experience of the eagle spirit. For the last four years, I was connecting with the spirit of the bear.
When I first discovered that I was a bear totem, I was actually sad, depressed and even disappointed about having to be guided by the bear. I was terrified of being a bear. I didn’t like bears at all and certainly didn’t want to be one. I‘ve had nightmares about them my entire life; during these dark scary dreams, the same message occurred. I was always running away from them in terror, hoping they wouldn’t come close to me or see me. In the last couple years of my life, they even tried breaking into my house. Trying to get inside my home where my family would be and were doing everything they could to get in. One time one very large bear even tried picking my front door deadbolt with his claw to get in. And it worked, the lock opened up... But thankfully I woke up before he actually came into my home.
I spoke to one of my Cree native cousins Theresa, she told me that we were actually from the Bear Clan and the reason I am always running from the bear and scared of the bear, is because I am always running from myself and scared of me, the real me, scared to be that version of me.
The eagle has been presenting itself on a number of occasions over the past couple of years subtly, but I had no idea what this meant and could not see the signs until just recently when I had a beautiful dream of two baby eaglets who out of nowhere started flying around my kitchen. My son, daughter and I were just hanging out visiting and I was so ecstatic, two baby eaglets, wow, how was this even possible I wonder? In the dream, it was clearly my kitchen, all of the details were there. You would have thought I was awake and that it was real life, everything just felt so true and the details were specific. In my excitement, I was flapping my arms jumping up and down and trying to keep my screeching under control. Eagles were actually in my home and these two baby birds were so cute! All I could do was oogle and google at their cuteness and it just made my heart melt. They started to fly really close, I knew instinctively that I had to stop acting out and be very still so they could come to me and I wanted to make sure that I didn’t scare them. Once I settled my energy, made my body still, one of the two eaglets came over and gently landed on my right shoulder. The other eaglet flew immediately over to my twelve-year-old son and rested gently on his shoulder. We were both standing there frozen in wonder and awe. In that next moment, my twenty-two-year-old daughter says in a saddened voice and appears to be feeling very left out, “what about me.” I realized in that moment that there were only two eaglets, but three of us in the room and felt sad for her that she wasn’t selected to be with one of the birds. Not a moment passes by, somehow by instinct, the eaglet that was sitting with me, lifts off and flies over to my daughter and lands on her shoulder. She was overjoyed to be included and knew that she was one of us, we are all one as we are family.
After awakening, I immediately messaged one of my cousins, an elder Pimastan who told me that I was now a part of the Eagle Clan and needed to go into ceremony and get my Indian name and that the eagle has come to watch over me and my family, he is now our protector; I was elated by this message, but also scared and confused. Did this mean I was no longer the bear? What responsibilities come with such an animal? These answers will come to me on my never-ending journey of discovering and getting to know me. I know that I am entering another stage of my life, metamorphosis, yet again. That’s life, change, grow, learn, love, change, grow, learn and love again.
Some of the lessons that this dream gave me were:
You have to get still and quiet for your spirit messages or animals to come to you.
Often you don’t see the signs or feel the lesson or message until you have truly evolved and grown within yourself.
If you want to be included, you just have to ask.
The authentic gifts come when you are not looking for them or logically trying to chase them down with ego and strategy.